Latest Posts
Are You a Compulsive Caregiver?
Being a compulsive caregiver often robs our greatest potential.
September 09, 2011
By Juliet Bonnay
Like me, many other women in my life are compulsive caregivers. And I have sometimes watched in dismay as they emerged from their caregiving, or attempt to ‘fix’ others, depressed and worse off in many ways, wondering what they had done ‘wrong’. I have to admit that I wasn’t aware of this dysfunctional pattern until, during a time of exhaustion that caused me to self-reflect, I came across this line in Atlas Shrugged, by Ann Rynd: “I swear by my life…and my love of it…that I will never live for the sake of another man…nor ask another man…to live…for mine.” Continue reading…
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Is Sex What Men Really Want?
June 10, 2011
Childhood sexual abuse can cause many problems in adult life. The compulsion to repeat the original abuse can retraumatise a person, but it can also offer opportunities to gain insight and the compassion to heal the pain of the past.
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Procrastination: Are You Sabotaging Your Own Success?
April 16, 2011
Procrastination for me is a beacon of light that shows me I am stuck in something that needs healing within.
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The Hidden Consequences of Child Rape
March 12, 2011
“The amount of sexual abuse that takes place in our country is unacceptable, and even less acceptable is our nation’s sense of apathy,” wrote Dr. Boyce Watkins on his blog this week in response to recent arrests of eighteen men (thirteen adults and five juveniles) in Texas, on charges of gang raping an 11-year-old girl late last year.
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Overcoming Self-Doubt
February 19, 2011
Self-doubt immobilizes our actions and retards the development of our greatest potential. For years it stopped me from sharing the writing that was most heartfelt to me, for I was afraid of exposing myself by becoming vulnerable and open to criticism and misunderstanding.
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Ten Keys to Happiness
February 04, 2011
“Happiness is a way of life—an overriding outlook composed of qualities such as optimism, courage, love, and fulfillment.” I share ‘ten keys to happiness’ that work for me.
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Achieve Your Goals by ‘Changing Tack’
January 20, 2011
Do you know where you are heading on this sea called ‘life’. Perhaps you are trying to sail into a headwind of obstacles that keep taking you off course. Here are five steps to help you take over the helm of your own destiny by learning to change tack.
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The Spirit of Christmas
December 22, 2010
Recently I viewed a talk given by Tony Robbins at T.E.D. in which he described the time his family had no money to buy food for Thanksgiving or Christmas. Although he was only eleven-years-old, Tony Robbins still remembers his awe and surprise when they discovered a hamper of food left on their doorstep.
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Mystical Experiences That Heal the Soul
December 10, 1010
Have you ever had a mystical experience that has taken you outside the realm of your ‘normal’ life, or even beyond the reality of physical existence? What can these experiences teach us about life and love?
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The Gift of Zeehaen
November 20, 2010
During those times when it feels like your whole world has fallen apart, there is often a gift of healing. This healing came during the rebuilding of a yacht that foundered on a sandbar shortly after my marriage broke up.
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The Harm of Labels: A Story About Jack
November 03, 2010
Labelling someone with a mental disorder without exploring its underlying causes and prescribing medication without appropriate counselling can create huge harm. This story shows the role early childhood trauma can play in creating mental illness and the huge waste of talent it leaves in its wake
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Listening Can Change a Child’s World
October 14, 2010
Children’s bad behaviour often raises the alarm about something that is having a negative emotional impact on them. Listening to what they say can change their world for the better. Sometimes it can save a life.
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How Children’s Self-Esteem is Torn Apart
October 02, 2010
From my students I learned that low self-esteem was not only caused by parents fighting, other children being mean or calling them names, or even sibling hatred; it was also caused by not performing well in school. But when I dig a little deeper and refer to my clients’ counseling files, more disturbing contributing factors emerge…
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Take Off the ‘Shoes’ That Don’t Fit
September 08, 2010
Exchanging shoes during an exercise with a partner to try to picture certain aspects of their life, my partner offered insights into my own life that showed why I wasn’t living my life for me.
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Learn From the Past to Enjoy the Future
September 03, 2010
Are you still bitter and unhappy about something that happened in the past? This is a story about what ‘Grandma’ showed me can happen when you hang onto past pain and the anger that accompanies it.
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Men can be free of anger
August 18, 2010
What it means to be a man has been deeply ingrained within the race memory; a memory built upon war and destruction. I sense that many men today have layers built one upon the other to cover hurts they are not ‘supposed’ to feel. ______________________________________________________________________________
Love Ourselves First
August 10, 2010
Today I received a letter from a friend who wrote, “I have no idea what love is… I tend to ‘love’? whoever shows me the slightest affection.” A male client recently revealed his true sentiments about relationships when he said…
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Treat Children with Respect
August 04, 2010
While I was training to become a teacher I was struck by a lecturer’s remark that no matter what we learned about teaching practice, the most powerful model we would use was how we ourselves were taught. This also applies to parenting.
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I’m Sorry. I Love You…
July 24, 2010
The power of love is the most amazing ‘medicine’ I have witnessed in its ability to heal. Read how Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len used his desire to love and heal himself, heal the inmates of a mental hospital who were classified violent and criminally insane.
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The Importance of Loving Yourself Unconditionally
July 14, 2010
You can prevent the negative patterns resulting from childhood abandonment, abuse, or parental violence from being handed down to future generations by taking the the vital first step of learning to love yourself unconditionally.
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Forgiveness Heals the Past
July 02, 2010
Opening the heart to love can be painful. It may mean that we need to forgive those who have hurt us, but ultimately it will bring us peace.